Still Scared | Truthy Tuesday

Last week I conquered two fears: live video AND webinars.

On Thursday, I held my very first live webinar on Tomayia Colvin Education. It may not sound like a huge deal, people do webinars everyday! But it was a huge step for me.

Since live video has been on the scene, I have been pretty much anti-live anything lol. Not because I don't see its purpose or usefulness when it comes to my business, it just gave me much more anxiety than I wanted to deal with, so I didn't!

Until last week.

I agreed to teach the Finding Your Creative Voice class knowing I had both fears... I guess, somehow I hoped that the closer the day got, and maybe the day of, those fears would magically disappear. 

Let me tell you that, indeed, did NOT happen lol.

I was flustered and way more nervous than I can remember being in my past 5 years of teaching.

Webinars give me anxiety because I don't have real life feedback as I do when I'm teaching in person. I like faces. And when I can't see a face that's confused or needs further explanation, it just feels like I'm talking into a vacuum and no one's listening.

I "know" that's just in my mind. But just like the depressive feelings I deal with, knowing that it's not true doesn't magically make it go away. So... I gotta keep going! And keep doing what my mind tells me I can't do.

I was very uncomfortable before, during, and for quite a bit after, the whole thing.

But, I did it!

It may not have been perfect, but it was done. And I think I may do it again lol. Maybe not a live webinar, a pre-recorded one. But the fact that I'm even okay with it now is an accomplishment because I was not 5 days ago.

So what's the point of this post? 

To say that you should still do something even if you're scared.

Now, I'm not one who follows the philosophy "if it scares you, that means you need to do it", because sometimes fear is for good reason and you don't need to do the thing lol. But if it's an unreasonable fear, one that you KNOW is holding you back from progress, you have to try and push through. Sometimes it looks like a huge leap, and other times it looks like baby steps. 

I have quite a few more things on my fear list to work on, but on this day, the first of a new month, I'm proud to say that I've overcome two of those :)