I'm Tired | Truthy Tuesday

I am tired.

For the past few weeks, simply getting out of bed has been a larger accomplishment than I would have liked for it to be. 

Let alone keeping up with friends and family, blogging, social media, household chores, my spiritual routine, and other necessary responsibilities. Somehow I've been managing to keep up with my client work, so I'm thankful for that, it just takes a bit longer to get things done these days. 

Yesterday I saw a quote by Bassey on Twitter:

"I want to get better, not get by."

And I couldn't have worded it better.

I don't know if I'm still "buffering" and in recovery mode from a hectic Spring season, or if this is just a regularly scheduled dip.  Given the nature of my bipolar depression, I know the fog will eventually lift, but for me, those brief highs and moments of "okayness" (or even faux wellness), tend to make the lows feel that much lower. Because I know I CAN get out of bed, be productive, and make healthy decisions... so when I can't, it's that much more frustrating.

I know, I haven't yet learned the art of balance and patience with myself... I'm tired of just making it. Tired of not knowing what mood and energy levels will greet me from day to day. Tired of my response being "I'm tired" when someone asks how I'm doing because I'm too tired to even explain how I feel... Tired of having to push through, tired of looking for a "pause" button I can't seem to find.

In the midst of this daily discomfort, I am thankful for the love and support of my God, friends, and family. I haven't been doing a good job of being mindful of my blessings, and I know that will help. I actually know a LOT of things that will help, but finding the energy to do them is the problem. 😕  

I haven't given up though, and I guess that's what I have to learn to be okay with for now. 

-Danni

Spring 2017 | Washington, DC Lifestyle Photographer

*waves* Heyyy guys!

I have been majorly MIA on the blog these past couple of months! But for good reason, I'm trying to get my life together lol. And also (mostly) because this spring has been the busiest one EVER, and that is no exaggeration- this season has been full of travel, mentoring, family, maternity, and business/branding sessions!

I've been posting here and there on Instagram and Facebook when I have both the time and energy, but some of these photos haven't been shared yet. So, since I have no idea when I will be able to catch up on blogging all of these sessions, I figured a recap would be more efficient :)

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March

Spring officially began on March 20, and almost immediately my schedule kicked into high gear! Unfortunately the weather wasn't quite ready to BE Spring-like, but we made the best of it despite the rain and cool temps. The start of Spring was filled with maternity, business/branding, and mentoring sessions!

April

April began and ended with mentoring sessions! The pop-up headshot special at The Spice Suite was held this month as well, and it turned out beautifully! I also headed to Dallas mid month for the first group mentoring session of the year.

May

If April seemed busy, nope. May felt like the longest month ever! The month started with a quick trip back to Dallas for my gallery opening, and from then on... nonstop. Branding sessions, Spring minis... families, maternity, engagements... Then, more travel. This time to Atlanta for mentoring and mini sessions. Came back home, and I was honored to photograph my good friend's proposal! Then rounded out the month with a couple more business sessions and a maternity session.

June

Ya'll. When I tell you I was tired? I was tired. Thanks to Jehovah, I was able to power through and knock out the next stop- Brooklyn! I had a wonderful one-on-one business session and did a few mini sessions. Back home, the following weekend was another business mentoring session, and finally the end of my busy spring season came with two mini family sessions.

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Whew! Just doing this recap was even exhausting lol. I learned several things from this season. The main takeaway being that I need to do a better job at being reasonable with myself. Managing my bipolar depression is tricky because I can feel okay one day (or even great sometimes!) and I'm able to be massively productive, yet on another, find it very hard to even get out of bed. I was very ambitious with my scheduling thinking that I would be able to handle everything, and in the end I did because I had to, but I would like to not feel like I've run myself ragged in the process. 

Either way, I'm super thankful for my beautiful clients and very happy that I'm still able to do what I love even while trying to manage my mental illness. I can't say enough how much I appreciate you all 💛

This blog turned out to be wayyy longer than intended :/ So if you've made it to the end, thank you for catching up with me! I hope not to have such a long break in between the next one :)

-Danni

Opening Reception | Pass Thru Gallery

This past Wednesday evening, I was in Dallas... trying to manage nerves (with wine lol) as folks arrived for the opening of #talkaboutuncomfortablethings at Pass Thru Gallery. Traveling with me from DC, were my mom, Lakiya, and Denyelle! And visiting from Jackson, MS was Jay! So in the back of my mind, I told myself, "even if no one else shows up, I know there will be at least 5 people there" lol.

Thankfully, a few more than 5 people were in attendance :)

When too much is going on, I kind of shut down and go numb. So honestly, it took a week of processing for me to understand why I was so overwhelmed by everything last week.

First, the pain that prompted the creation of this project is still very present. I am still depressed. I am still trying to figure out how best to manage the daily mood and energy shifts present with rapid-cycling bipolar II. I am still trying to navigate my anxiety and ADD triggers... In short, trying to figure out how to regain my quality of life while managing illnesses that I wasn't aware of for the first 29 years of my life.

It's a process. And I'll be honest, every day I don't show up for the fight. The exhaustion wins some days, and I have to try again the next. So... with all that being said, it is extremely hard to accept good things happening to you when you don't feel good about yourself. And I was dealing with a lot of that leading up to and on the day of the opening.

The vibe in that room though? Nothing short of amazing.

Everyone who came to the opening contributed to the warm atmosphere. Takiyah really created something special with this space and it was an honor to be the first to share my art in her gallery ❤️

Without further ado, I want to share this awesome video recap of the opening that Jay put together! 

I'm so thankful to Jay for this beautiful video! I wasn't mentally all there last week, but having been able to decompress a bit, I can smile now and say that I'm proud of myself. For not curling up into the ball that I wanted to lol. 

Huge thanks go to my wonderful muses! The beautiful fellow black women creatives who agreed to allow themselves to be vulnerable with me: Fisayo, Yodith, Naseera, Adina, and Erika. ❤️

Thank you to everyone who made it to the opening and thank you for the kind words and support from afar from those that weren't able to! If you're in/near Dallas or will be visiting Dallas within the coming month, be sure to visit Pass Thru Gallery and check out the exhibit!

The journey to wellness continues ❤️

-Danni

Afeku Maternity | Washington, DC Maternity Photographer

Last, but certainly not least, for today is the Afeku family! Can I tell you how easy they were to photograph? Their love for one another was a true joy to document 💙

Bessie is a fellow photographer, and I have to be honest when I tell you there's always a bit more anxiety than normal when another photographer trusts you with taking their photos, let alone documenting something as important and exciting as a pregnancy! Once we met though, I knew the session was going to be a great, and it was!

It is one of my favorite things to photograph families with a more natural style and truly just capture them in a warm and loving manner. I was able to do just that with the Afeku family :)

Check out some of my favorites from their session:

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If you’re interested in a maternity session, I would love to document this exciting time in your life! Email me to schedule yours today! Currently booking: June, July, and August dates.

Vaughn Maternity | Washington, DC Maternity Photographer

Next up for today? Ron & Imani!

Adrian and I shot Ron and Imani's wedding back in 2012 (post originally formatted for my old blog), so I was very happy when Imani reached out to schedule a maternity session!

As the day for their session neared, the forecast called for it be a rainy and stormy day :/ So we planned to shoot at the National Portrait Gallery. The portrait gallery ended up being THE perfect location for them, so I am actually thankful to the rain for moving me in that direction lol.

Just as I remember from their wedding day, Ron and Imani are such a warm and loving couple and it was an honor to document this new chapter of their journey 💛

Here are some of my faves from their session!

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If you’re interested in a maternity session, I would love to document this exciting time in your life! Email me to schedule yours today! Currently booking: June, July, and August dates.