It's been a solid 3 months since my last Truthy Tuesday/Thursday, soo here's an update of sorts.
Life is happening... all around me. And I try, but often it feels like I'm barely participating in it.
I took two months off from shooting from mid December to mid February with plans of catching up on creative projects that I started, but didn't complete last year, implementing new business systems, developing healthy habits, and otherwise trying to get my life together... aaand here we are. Now at the end of this period, and the list of things I've actually accomplished is quite small.
One of the biggest things I have trouble with is making accurate estimates of my energy and abilities, and this ONE thing is often my downfall.
Every day is different. And with that, needs to come an increased level of understanding and compassion- that I don't yet have with myself. I WANT to get things done, I don't WANT to stay in the bed, but I still beat myself up on the days I can't function as I would like to :/
Contrary to what I would like to think, progress and change are not easily quantifiable by neat measures of time... change happens in its own way. It's messy and exhausting. Uneven and disappointing. Trying and triumphant... A little bit of everything, honestly.
Yet with that knowledge, it's STILL hard for me to accept that with a mental illness, I'm not completely in control of how quickly I can effect change. I have made some progress, but I would LOVE to have already mastered how to manage my low days, steady myself on the higher ones, and avoid/better manage the accompanying unpleasant feelings... but, I'm not there yet.
This month makes one year since I received my diagnoses. And while a year SEEMS like a long time (though living it, may feel never ending), in the end, it's really no time at all. So, I guess this is my reminder to be patient and understanding with myself. And to appreciate the progress, no matter how small, that is being made ♥
How have YOU been handling life these past few months? I'd love to hear from you in the comments :) For my next Truthy, I will share some of the things that have been helpful thus far.